Monday, March 26, 2012

CSFF Blog Tour - What monster type are you? Night of the Living Dead Christian by Matt Mikalatos

I'm part of the CSFF Blog tour this month!

Pumpkin EVE is also a robot made out of organic matter.

The premise of Night of the Living Dead Christian by Matt Mikalatos is that many so-called Christians are, at their heart, monsters in need of Christ's transformation. Written in first-person, Matt plays the bumbling narrator, while the change character is a Lutheran werewolf (and his father named him Luther Martin--Luther Anne Martin!) who insists he's not a Christian. The werewolf has anger issues; the vampire feeds off others for selfish gain; the zombies follow a pastor blindly, and so forth.

I'll review the book tomorrow, but here's a bit of a teaser. The end of the book has "A Layman's Self-Diagnosis Guide to Common Monstrosities". I think I've found my monster type. (Actually, as soon as I saw the movie WALL-E, I knew what I was.)

Per the guide, weaknesses of robots include "inability to tell when they have hurt someone's feelings, lack of awareness of their own emotions, social awkwardness and/or relational immaturity." Natural enemies include "Rust, water, illogic, sentimentality, Dr. Phil."

Sounds like me. (Especially the Dr. Phil thing.)

Some of my favorite lines in the book actually come from this little epilogue of sorts. To close with a common robot quote (listed in this epilogue):

Thank you for informing me that you love me. I will carefully consider a proper response and get back to you in a period of no more than fourteen days.

I've got to say, some of the diagnoses seem a bit odd to me. Mikalatos decided vampires don't like to look at themselves (as opposed to being unable to see themselves)...but some people I know who I would class as having vampiric qualities--at least the women--love looking at themselves. While some of the least vampiric women I know (and even a robot such as myself) don't like looking in the mirror! I'm not sure he understands the inherent insecurity  almost all women have with their appearance...vampire or not. Ah well. Interesting to think about.

So yeah, I'm a robot.  What B-movie monster type do you most identify with?

EDITED to add: Matt posted this funny monster guide on his blog (link in the first paragraph of his post). I think it's worth reading, though probably more useful if you've read the book.

Here are the other participants in the CSFF Blog Tour. They are all writing entries on Night of the Living Dead Christian between today and Wednesday. Check them out!


  1. According to the guide, I'm most likely of the sasquatch variety. I like my cave, commonly called the basement, because I can hunch over my keyboard and be as non-sociable as I wanna be. Sad, but true.

  2. Nice post, Julie, I think showing a little of that end material reveals the general direction of the book. Good idea.


  3. I think the sasquatch type is pretty common, Keanan. I certainly have those tendencies myself....though most of us who are active online probably share that trait. :)

    Thanks, Becky!

  4. Hey Julie!

    Tomorrow on my blog I've got a post going up with a link to the Monster Guide online so people can see it directly, as it seems to be a popular feature with the readers.

    Thanks for the great post.

  5. That's great, Matt. Thanks! I will check it out. Everyone I've mentioned the monster test too, wants to know what kind of monster they are. :)


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